I’m not sure why, exactly, but the idea of a zombie on a treadmill is pretty darn funny. Why have we never seen the treadmill method used in a zombie film yet? Or is this something that has been done and I’m just hopelessly out of the loop? It’s pure genius – zombies aren’t intelligent – how will they know to step off the treadmill instead of just moving forward endlessly? I love it.
Dying to have the Eternal Exercise t-shirt? You can get it below.
Eternal Exercise
Price: $19.99
There are a number of methods available for training your pet. Do not attempt these techniques on your own. Always consult with a zombie professional. If you leave your zombies alone in the house all day, they can get into trouble if not properly trained. You’ll come home to an abattoir of headless stuffed animals and all the unpleasant moldy things in the fridge will have been eaten. It’s important to remember that your zombie needs three things: exercise, discipline, and brains. A treadmill is a great way to burn off your zombie’s excess energy. But this is important: never set the treadmill above the lowest setting. You want to maintain the rate at a consistent shamble. Breaking into a run is no good. It only causes ankle injuries and additional flesh decomposition. It’s also important to remember that since your zombie feels no fatigue, you’ll need to turn the treadmill off. But the treadmill can focus the groaning and mindless shambling of a typical zombie into a purpose. Plus, working out on the treadmill will give your zombies the edge in mob situations. They’ll be the first ones to the brains. Which is always good if you want to keep your own brain right where it is. This is an authentic Glennz t-shirt, full of New Zealand-y goodness. Printed on a silver, 100% fine jersey cotton t-shirt, this design features a zombie in a tattered business suit on a treadmill. It’s printed on American Apparel, which fits differently than most of ThinkGeek’s shirts, so be sure to check the Sizing Info tab to ensure you select the right size.
Tags: geek, nerdy, zombies